


of lesbians, war crimes, and donuts

by wizardsquirrel



Category: Animaniacs
Genre: Aromantic Wakko Warner, Bisexual Yakko Warner, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Lesbian Dot Warner, Non-Binary Wakko Warner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 08:35:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28597053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wizardsquirrel/pseuds/wizardsquirrel
Summary: warner trio fluff!!! bi/aro/lesbian solidarity!!!!
Comments: 7
Kudos: 51





	of lesbians, war crimes, and donuts

The front door opened and two sets of footsteps came through, giggles and laughter and assorted chatter echoing down the hall.

 _Sibs are back from school,_ Yakko noted. He had taken a sick day, which he planned to continue to do everyday throughout the year.

He picked up a newspaper as the footsteps came closer to the kitchen.

Dot burst into the kitchen and threw her backpack onto the floor.“Yakko, there’s this girl in my class and she’s really cute, what do I do?”

Yakko didn’t look up from the newspaper he was pretending to read. “Just tell her to knock it off or you’ll hit her with your pocket hammer. There’s no way she’s cuter than you, though, anyway, why does it matter?”

“No!” Dot said, sounding more exasperated than Dr. Scratchansniff when Wakko said every bag of chips is family sized when you’re an orphan.

“No?” Yakko asked.

Dot nodded. “Yeah, no! I mean, like... _hellooooo_ kind of cute.”

Yakko set down his newspaper and frowned. “Huh?”

“I think Dot’s saying she has a crush,” Wakko said helpfully, peeling a banana that they must have gotten from the pantry. “Either that or she’s hungry.”

Dot nodded. “The first one.”

“You have a crush on a girl?” Yakko asked.

“Mhm!” Dot hummed. “Why?”

“No reason,” Yakko said quickly.

That was a lie. He was proud of his little sister, but he couldn’t help being scared for her too. If the producers found out, after all...

But he would always be there between her and the producers, so that was a worry for another day.

“I think, if you want, you should tell her you think she’s cute!“ he suggested finally. He was probably the last person to ask for advice, though; he was a bisexual disaster.

“Or just ask her if she’s done eating her lunch, and if you can have it.”

Correction: Yakko was the second last person to ask, and Wakko was the very last person.

They were, as far as anyone could tell, aromantic; either that or they had just never noticed that romance existed, too focused on food to care.

That was probably for the best- Yakko would probably be way too overprotective if Wakko tried to date anyone. He knew Dot could always hold her own, but chances were Wakko would just forget to.

“I’m just gonna tell her I think she’s cute,” Dot decided, and Yakko gave her a thumbs up.

“You got this, sis,” he said.

Dot looked offended. “Don’t call me cis!”

Yakko groaned. “S-i-s, Dot, not c-i-s.”

“Oh, okay.” Dot seemed to calm down. “Yakko, can you help me do my hair tomorrow? I want to look extra cute!”

Yakko nodded quickly, already knowing he would be up until who knows when watching YouTube tutorials. “Yeah, course, what’re you thinking?”

“Just curled more in on the ends and more flowers!” Dot said.

Yakko hoped his interpretation of that was right. He nodded, and she scurried out to her room, and by the next morning Yakko could probably get his masters in hair styling.

“A little fluffier,” Dot instructed.

Yakko put away the straightener and used his hands to fluff her hair out with gel. “Like that?” he asked.

“Perfect!” Dot exclaimed. “Now just add the flower clips!”

Yakko grabbed the biggest clip first, and put on top of her head, centered by her ears, then clipping the smaller ones around it. “How’s that?”

“I love it!” Dot squealed. “Thanks, Yakko!”

She hoisted her backpack over her shoulder and ran out the door, calling out , “Wait for me!” after Wakko yelled, “The bus is here!”

 _Yeah, definitely worth the all-nighter,_ Yakko thought, satisfied. He rubbed his hands together and ignored the sticky gel still on them. “I think that’s my cue for nap time.”

He slept for a bit on the couch, but he didn’t sleep long before he woke to the sound of the phone ringing. He groaned, but stood up and rubbed his eyes and grabbed the phone. “Yakko Warner speaking.”

“This is the Burbank middle school principal,” the voice on the other end of the line said. “You need to come collect your siblings.”

Yakko couldn’t help but grin in pride.

Whatever they had done, he hoped it was chaotic and hilarious- and maybe Dot has finally perfected the witty line that came before the violence, like Yakko had been teaching her.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be right over,” he said aloud. The other end of the line ended abruptly after the sound of an air horn.

It only took one quick transition of the setting sliding across the screen for Yakko to get to the school, and a few steps to get to the principal’s office.

“Hi, Yakko,” Dot said innocently. Her hair was all messed up, frizzy and tangled, and most of her flowers looked like they had been through a war.

Before Yakko could ask about it, the principal had shoved all three of them out of his office, and slammed the door behind them.

“I know when I’m not wanted!” Yakko called, pulling a handkerchief from his pocket to dab his tears away.

“Do the whip and nae nae next,” Dot said.

Yakko laughed. “Maybe later. Wanna tell me what happened at school?”

“The cute girl called me a slur,” Dot explained simply, “so I called her an ambulance.”

Yakko ruffled her hair. “That’s my girl. Let’s go get some donuts, yeah?”

“Yeah!” Dot and Wakko cheered.

Yakko breathed a sigh of relief. Dot didn’t seem shaken by the experience, so he wouldn’t make a big deal out of it, but he still wished he could protect her better...

Donuts were a good enough start.


End file.
